Redbird Coaching

Choose one or more of these tried and tested boosters and watch your confidence quotient soar!

1. Write yourself a winner’s script
If you go into a challenging situation with a little voice at the back of your mind saying “you KNOW you’re going to mess up; you’re USELESS at this; you ALWAYS get this sort of thing WRONG”, the chances are you will mess up, be useless and get it wrong. You can change this quite simply by writing yourself a winner’s script: it’s worth writing it down once you’ve clarified it for yourself. It might be something like this: “This may be difficult, but I KNOW I CAN COPE. I’ve dealt with this sort of thing before so I KNOW WHAT TO DO. I will be CALM. I will ENJOY turning this into A SUCCESS.” This is a “vanilla” version of a winner’s script, so change it to suit you and your circumstances. The most effective winner’s script is the one you write for yourself. You may need to create a different script for different situations; sometimes you’ll need to repeat it often, other times one or two run-throughs will be enough
2. See yourself successful
This is another version of writing yourself a winner’s script and it works really well for people who prefer to think in pictures, rather than words. Close your eyes and take a few deep breaths to relax, then start putting together a picture of yourself at your most successful. This might be a memory, or it might be a future projection, but either way, you will want to create the most vivid picture possible. Give your picture bright, clear colours; see the expression on your own face; check out your winner’s posture; give your winning self a superb setting; look at the accessories that you associate with winning – this varies so much from person to person, but might include a fabulous office, a big car, a personal assistant…it’s entirely up to you. Once you’ve created your mind picture, give it a caption: again, it’s up to you, but some suggestions are “The Winner!” “Well done me” “My success story” “Portrait of success”….you will come up with your own ideas, and they will be eminently memorable for you personally. Now practice conjuring up this vision: call it up using the caption you’ve given it, then examine the picture in deep detail, paying special attention to yourself, the winner.

3. Analyse a winner
Think of someone you know who always seems confident and self-assured. Think of that person dealing with your situation. How would they speak? How would they stand? What would they wear? What would they expect to happen? How would they prepare? Once you’ve analysed your winner’s methods, steal them! If they speak slowly and clearly, could you do the same? If they stand tall with good posture, could you do that; will you wear something that is comfortable and appropriate, have a positive expectation, be well prepared? Your particular winner may have different methods that better suit the situation you’re looking at, but the idea is the same, whoever you picture.

4. Remember you’re a winner
This is an incredibly powerful way of using your inner resources to help you through any difficulty. Think back to a time when you felt successful and completely confident: this might be in a work situation, or something related to your life outside work; it could be yesterday, last week, last year or two decades ago. The feeling may have lasted two minutes or two years. It doesn’t really matter when or where it was or how long it lasted, what matters is how you felt. Think back to that feeling; concentrate on the way you felt at that time. Spend a few minutes thinking about it, how you felt, how you carried yourself, how you looked, what you said or did while you felt so confident. Why were you so successful and confident? What had you achieved that gave you that feeling? What were you doing? How did other people respond to you? Really see yourself as you were then, when you felt successful and confident. Get a very clear picture in your mind. Now imagine that successful, confident you dealing with whatever is making you feel anxious or doubtful. How does the confident you look? How does the confident you speak? What does the confident you say?

5. Be kind to yourself
Imagine you are able to clone yourself. Picture a you2 standing right in front of you. Now tell that you2 how great you are; praise your you2’s achievements and efforts; tell your you2 you have faith in them; you believe in your you2 and you know they will succeed. Finally, give your you2 a big hug and concentrate on letting him or her know how much you care about them and believe in them. Some people find this works better for them if they picture themselves as a child; others find they respond better to an adult clone – it’s up to you. Give it a try.

6. Write a new CV
This is a very effective way of stocktaking your own skills and achievements and boosting your self-esteem on confidence. If you can share this with a friend, so much the better – you create your friend’s CV, then swap roles. We tend not to blow our own trumpets, so sometimes it’s useful to have another person describe your strengths! Imagine you are creating a CV to give to an employer from another planet: this employer is not only interested in your working skills and experience, he wants to know everything about you. Make five lists: i. work achievements ii. personal achievements iii. natural abilities iv. challenges I’ve met v. my strong points. Remember to include things you might take for granted, like driving, cooking, managing a household, diy, parenting skills… your friend may add achievements to your list you haven’t even considered. If it helps, compare what you were able to do when you were, say, 16, with what you can do now. You’ll be amazed at how long that list is! Look at your whole life in terms of the things you have achieved and how much you do well, and you’ll start to see how many skills and talents you really have – so give yourself a pat on the back and hold your head high.