goal-setting
Small is good
As a coach I’m in the business of helping people make changes in their lives, a kind of change management consultant if you like.
Sometimes the journey needed to get from where you are to where you want to be seems enormous and the size of the change needed can be overwhelming.
But I remind my clients that Small Is Good: a small change can make a big difference. Every change you make is like dropping a pebble into the pool of your life and the ripples will go on emanating outwards for a long, long time.
If you need proof, try this: think of a relationship you have that needs improving. It might be your relationship with your significant other, a friend, your mum, your next door neighbour…anyone. And if we’re honest, most of our relationships will benefit from a little extra TLC, so I figure you’ll have lots of options here.
Choose one, and decide for yourself what one small thing you can do to improve things: it might be something as simple as saying “I’m sorry” or “hello”; you could decide that you need to change your mindset a little and start thinking about them more positively or that you need to respond differently. Or maybe you need to be upfront and actually say something like “how can we make things better between us?”
None of these things involve moving mountains (or making them out of molehills!) and none of these things is going to mean you have to have a huge upheaval in your life.
But the effect of such small changes can, over time, build into an entirely new and wonderful situation.
Small change, big difference.
Create your own beautiful new world
Setting and achieving a goal means you are going to create a new version of your world. So first visualise your new version of the world and then work out exactly what you need to do to achieve it. If necessary, simply jot down all the things you will have to do, in no particular order. Then create a plan with realistic timescales. Schedule milestones and key turning points – especially important if your goal is a long-term one – and review it again to ensure your motivation is still high. These seven steps will help you to create great goals that will help you to create a beautiful new world.
1. Visualise: You may already have a clear goal in mind, in which case, simply visualise how the world will be once you have achieved it. If you want to change your life and are not sure where to start, think about how you would like to live your life: what would a typical day be like in your perfect life? A typical week? Who would be part of your beautiful new life? How would you spend your time? Do not try to rush this. Allow yourself time and space to really think about how you would like your life to be, who will be part of it, where you will be and what you would like to be doing on a regular basis. Visualise your new beautiful life and “see” yourself going through the motions of a normal day; make your internal video as vivid and lifelike as you possibly can. Run through this internal video several times so that you can return to it whenever you like.
2. Align: Now ask yourself what your values are. Sometimes, the hurly burly of our lives can distance us from our own true values but our values drive everything we do, so it’s important to identify and acknowledge them and align our goals accordingly. You may recognise your values in the following list, but you may have many more to add.
honesty beauty charity comfort health family trust money art
religion faith generosity security kindness power friends creativity
3. Select the values that resonate most strongly with you, those that are “must-haves” in your beautiful new life. Run your internal video in your mind again, and just check that your values are implicit in your new beautiful life; if does not fit with the values you have identified, you may need to have a rethink, either about your goals or your new life…or both.
4. Identify: Now you have a clear goal in mind, you must make it SMART, that is Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Realistic and Timely. If you want to lose weight, for example, saying “I want to lose weight” is not a goal, it is a wish. A SMART goal is “I will lose 2lbs a week for the next six weeks”. Or “I will reduce my calorie intake from 2000 a day to 1500 a day, and factor at least one hour of exercise every other day for the next month”. Losing 2lbs a week for the next six weeks is specific, measurable, achievable, realistic and timely. Cutting calories from 2000 to 1500 is also specific, measurable, achievable, realistic and timely. “Wanting to lose weight” is not specific, measurable, achievable, realistic or timely.
5. Plan all the activities that you need to undertake to achieve your goal. Give yourself a clear timetable and make sure it is specific, achievable, realistic and timely; you may like to set milestones along the way and give yourself rewards when you reach them. If you are making major changes to your life, you may want to break them down into several goals so that you are not overwhelmed by all the differences. If your goal is SMART your plans will be too.
6. Remind yourself of your goal: good ways of doing this are to tell people around you what you are doing, so that you will be accountable to them; use written reminders in your diary or calendar. If your motivation flags, visualise the world as it will be when you’ve achieved what you want to achieve.
7. Review your success. Once you’ve achieved your goal, think back over all the activities you undertook to achieve it, and congratulate yourself. Keep your success at the front of your mind, because it will help you stay motivated in every new goal you set.
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Choose change
Choosing change is a way of living your life that can help you to be more positive, more dynamic and, eventually, more fulfilled and successful. To take control of change in the most powerful and meaningful way, you will need to set clear, time-bound goals, with realistic action plans.
We can categorise change in a hundred different ways, but there really are only two types: those we want and those that are forced on us. The two types are inextricably linked, because the action of making a change we want always brings with it side effects – other changes – about which we may have no choice.
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Every change is like a pebble dropped into the pool of activity and experience that makes up our lives: it will cause a splash, and then ripples that will emanate outwards for a long time.
Making a dramatic change to our finances, for example, might mean our relationship with our partner has to change too; changing our relationship with our partner may mean we have less time to spend with friends; spending less time with friends might result in more changes in our relationship with our partner… and so on, ad infinitum.
The best changes are those we choose and of those, the most successful and life-enhancing are the changes we want that we express as clearly defined goals with straightforward, time-bound actions plans in place.
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You may have heard the much-quoted urban myth about Harvard MBA graduates who were asked if they had set clear, written goals and made plans to accomplish them. Three percent had written down their goals and created action plans; 13 percent had goals, but had not written them down; and 84 percent had no goals at all. Ten years later, these graduates were interviewed again. The 13 percent who started out with unwritten goals were earning, on average, about twice as much as the 84 percent who had had no goals.
The three percent who had written down their goals and their plans of action to achieve them were earning, on average, 10 times as much as the other 97 percent put together.
It is a great story but Harvard researchers claim to know nothing of this fabulous study — and let’s face it, they would hardly have forgotten it.
So how to prove that it is worth writing down your goals?
Give it a try. Spend a little time today, now, thinking about one thing you would like to achieve during your lifetime. It may be something amazing and huge like climbing Mount Everest or walking the Great Wall of China; it might equally be something fairly simple and straightforward like losing 20lbs.
Write down your goal and, very important, this, the date by which you will achieve it, in a notebook or diary, somewhere you can refer to it regularly.
Over the next few days, think about how you can achieve it. Do not rush this stage; give yourself plenty of time and space to allow both your conscious and your subconscious mind to get to work on it.
As the ideas come to you, jot them down. Gradually, a plan will begin to emerge and, once you really begin to see the possibilities, you will find your motivation rises steadily.
When you have a complete action plan, review your goal and your deadline to see whether it is still viable.
Then start taking action.
You will have taken control of this change in your life and it will feel wonderful!