confidence
Small is good
As a coach I’m in the business of helping people make changes in their lives, a kind of change management consultant if you like.
Sometimes the journey needed to get from where you are to where you want to be seems enormous and the size of the change needed can be overwhelming.
But I remind my clients that Small Is Good: a small change can make a big difference. Every change you make is like dropping a pebble into the pool of your life and the ripples will go on emanating outwards for a long, long time.
If you need proof, try this: think of a relationship you have that needs improving. It might be your relationship with your significant other, a friend, your mum, your next door neighbour…anyone. And if we’re honest, most of our relationships will benefit from a little extra TLC, so I figure you’ll have lots of options here.
Choose one, and decide for yourself what one small thing you can do to improve things: it might be something as simple as saying “I’m sorry” or “hello”; you could decide that you need to change your mindset a little and start thinking about them more positively or that you need to respond differently. Or maybe you need to be upfront and actually say something like “how can we make things better between us?”
None of these things involve moving mountains (or making them out of molehills!) and none of these things is going to mean you have to have a huge upheaval in your life.
But the effect of such small changes can, over time, build into an entirely new and wonderful situation.
Small change, big difference.
Brilliant presentations are vital to your business
Why? If you’re, say, a furniture polisher or a widget builder, why does it matter whether you can deliver a brilliant presentation or not?
The answer is simple: people buy people. You are your best ambassador for your goods and services providing, that is, you’re not a bumbling, mumbling, red-faced bundle of embarrassment when it comes to your turn to speak.
If networking plays an important part of your marketing strategy – and if it doesn’t, it really should! – every time you go to a new event your presentation skills are put to the test. Speak fluently and confidently about yourself or your business or both, even if for only sixty seconds, and you have a much better chance of winning new customers than if you’re tongue-tied or, worse, if your lack of confidence makes you sound stern or brusque.
Here are three simple ways to improve your presentation skills:
- Visualise yourself making a brilliant presentation. If you’re nervous your negative side has probably pictured a poor outcome hundreds of times; improve your chances of a positive outcome by consciously creating mind-movies showing you delivering an absolutely wonderful presentation. Picture the audience cheering at the end of it, picture yourself looking calm and confident, knowing you’ve done a great job.
- Check your material. All you need for a simple, brilliant presentation, is a beginning, a middle and an end. If what you say seems to have rather more elements than that, think again and remember that simple is good.
- Practise. Practise and practise some more. Practise in front of a mirror first, then in front of a friend or friends, listen to their feedback and ACT on it!
Check out Your One-Week Countdown to a Brilliant Presentation, here.
Model yourself confident
If you want to build your confidence, why not try some modelling? Not the sort of modelling that stick-thin beauties on a catwalk do, but copying or imitating someone’s style. Modelling is a marvellous way to fake it till you make it and, even when you have built up your confidence to a really high level, you may still find that modelling your behaviour on someone else’s can be great way of developing new confident moves and gestures.
It’s powerful on several levels. First and most obviously, if you look confident – even if you don’t feel it – people around you will assume you are confident and will respond to you accordingly. This will steadily build on your confidence over time.
And secondly, your confident posture and gestures will have an effect on your own subconscious. Interestingly, your subconscious finds it almost impossible to tell the difference between fact and fiction. If, for example, you give your subconscious regular signals in the form of drooping posture, dreary gestures and negative conversations, that you feel fed up, well, your subconscious will obligingly direct every cell in your body to create the perfect environment in which to be completely downhearted. Actors who play demanding roles often say it can be difficult to get out of character once the play is over; that’s because their subconscious has responded to the “reality” they created while they were in their role.
Equally, if you send lots of signals to your subconscious to say you are confident, your subconscious will jump right on the bandwagon and direct every part of you to be completely comfortable in your own skin, cool, calm and collected.
Sometimes, people who have little or no self-confidence feel awkward when they suddenly put on the mantle of confidence; it’s a foreign country and they feel uncomfortable and self-conscious. So I suggest trying it out for the first few times in a non-threatening environment, perhaps with one or two close friends. Don’t make a big deal of it, don’t announce it or make excuses, just do it and notice the effect it has; I’m prepared to bet you’ll get nothing but positive responses. So the next time you try it will be easier, and the time after that easier still, until it’s virtually second nature to you to slip into your confident skin.
Work through the simple exercise below and then think about when you can slip into your confident mode for a non-threatening rehearsal.
Here’s how start your modelling career
First: Identify someone whose confidence you admire. It might be someone you work with, a friend, a character in a movie, or even someone you’ve seen doing well in a similar situation to the one you face.
Next: Get a really clear picture in your mind of this person in action, so clear that you can see what it is about them that makes them look and seem so confident. There will be certain aspects that you’ll need to clearly identify, things that are common to every who is confident. Things like:
• their posture – they’ll be standing tall and relaxed
• the way they speak – slowly, with plenty of pauses and a firm tone
• their manner – cool calm and collected
• their facial expressions – relaxed and rady to smile.
Now see yourself behaving just the same way as them; see yourself “being” them in a situation where their confidence will be needed. Practise, in a non-threatening environment, behaving the way your role model behaves; get used to getting under their skin and using their confident gestures, language and posture.
Finally: Adopt your role model’s characteristics when you’re in the hot seat. Remind yourself how your role model reacts and responds, and act accordingly. It’s amazing how well this works: no-one but you will know you’re all of a-quiver inside and the more you practise, the less you’ll quiver!
And if you feel guilty about copying, remember imitation is the sincerest form of flattery.
Tame that stress reaction!
We all experience stress, every day; some of it is “good” stress that helps us to perform well and stay motivated. “Bad” stress elicits a negative reaction from you and leaves you with feelings of dissatisfaction and anxiety. Self-belief and the determination to change the way you respond to what the world throws at you are the keys to taming the negative stress and turning it over to the positive side.
Whatever causes you to feel stressed, believe that YOU have the power to turn it around and respond calmly. There are many ways of reaching the conclusion that, yes, you do have control over your reactions. Believing that you can change is vital. If you believe you have it within your power to change yourself, anything is possible. Limiting beliefs, those often unreasoned and unsound ideas we unconsciously carry around with us, get in the way of your desire to change, so think about what negative internal scripts may be holding you back, and get rid of them.
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Developing, and continuing to develop, your self-awareness, is crucial if you want to change. Start by simply spending 10 or 15 minutes a day thinking back over the last 24 hours: how did you get on? Did you respond calmly to irritating stimuli? Did you over-react or become too passive? Could you have handled situations in a more constructive way? Was there conflict and, if so, how did you respond? Then think about how you will manage similar situations next time round in a much more positive and constructive way.
Make some physical changes as a precursor to the mental and psychological changes that will follow. Start taking at least two 15-minute walks each day, or develop a simple exercise and stretch routine; join a yoga group or take up running. Physically making changes can help to prise you out of the emotional rut you may have been in.
Take heart from this true and inspirational story: Victor Frankl, an Austrian neurologist and psychiatrist, was imprisoned in the death camps of Nazi Germany in 1942. His parents, brother, and his wife died in the camps. Despite the horrors that surrounded him, Frankl, who had always worked on examining the meaning of life, discovered a freedom that could not be taken away. He was a self-aware being; his identity was intact; he could decide for himself how he would react to the things happening around him. In the small space between what happened to him and his response to it was his freedom to choose how he would respond. With this thought, and his continuing examination of the reasons for existence, Frankl found peace and stability, and went on to help fellow prisoners and even prison guards to find meaning in their lives even in the most degrading situations.
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Once you have prepared to change, use these 10 tips to help you cope with whatever stress comes your way:
1 BREATHE! Anxiety can make us take short, shallow breaths which can mean we’re starved of oxygen at the very time we need it most. Take control; take time to breathe deeply
2 SMILE. A smile is the simplest “anchor” of all, so use it. And while you’re at it, set another positive anchor or two: anchor good feelings so that you can revisit them at any time at all.
3 LAUGH. It’s difficult to hold on to tension when you’re laughing. Practise the inward laughter technique. Remember the times when you’ve laughed out loud. Do a fun audit and mentally prepare for your next good time.
4 MEDITATE. You create your own reality in your mind; use meditation to take control of your reality. Twenty minutes’ meditation a day will have long-lasting, far-reaching beneficial effects. Even 10 minutes a day will help you to cope with whatever the world throws at you.
5 USE THE ‘A’ TEAM. Either change the situation by Avoiding /Altering the source of stress or change how you react by Adapting / Accepting the source of stress.
6 AFFIRM AND NEUTRALIZE. Positive self-talk offsets any negatives. Affirmations need to be in the present tense and wholly positive and work best if they’re repeated throughout the day. Neutralizers are your personal stress-blockers, words or brief phrases you repeat out loud or in your head that take the sting out of whatever negatives come at you.
7 BE BODY LANGUAGE POSITIVE. Body language is a two-way channel: your subconscious doesn’t know the difference between the truth and fiction, so if your body language is from the “confident and relaxed” stable, your subconscious will make your psyche align with that concept.
8 SPEND TIME WITH HAPPY PEOPLE. Make a positive effort to spend time with people who are relaxed and happy, to offset whatever stressful environment you have to endure.
9 TAKE THE HELICOPTER VIEW. Ask yourself this question: “In 10 years’ time, will this really matter?” The answer is invariably ‘No’!
10 GET MOVING. If you feel anxious, irritable, angry or frustrated, do some exercise. Stretching’s good if you’re stuck in the office or in a meeting, say, but if you can get outside and go for a walk in the fresh air, so much the better.
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Create your own beautiful new world
Setting and achieving a goal means you are going to create a new version of your world. So first visualise your new version of the world and then work out exactly what you need to do to achieve it. If necessary, simply jot down all the things you will have to do, in no particular order. Then create a plan with realistic timescales. Schedule milestones and key turning points – especially important if your goal is a long-term one – and review it again to ensure your motivation is still high. These seven steps will help you to create great goals that will help you to create a beautiful new world.
1. Visualise: You may already have a clear goal in mind, in which case, simply visualise how the world will be once you have achieved it. If you want to change your life and are not sure where to start, think about how you would like to live your life: what would a typical day be like in your perfect life? A typical week? Who would be part of your beautiful new life? How would you spend your time? Do not try to rush this. Allow yourself time and space to really think about how you would like your life to be, who will be part of it, where you will be and what you would like to be doing on a regular basis. Visualise your new beautiful life and “see” yourself going through the motions of a normal day; make your internal video as vivid and lifelike as you possibly can. Run through this internal video several times so that you can return to it whenever you like.
2. Align: Now ask yourself what your values are. Sometimes, the hurly burly of our lives can distance us from our own true values but our values drive everything we do, so it’s important to identify and acknowledge them and align our goals accordingly. You may recognise your values in the following list, but you may have many more to add.
honesty beauty charity comfort health family trust money art
religion faith generosity security kindness power friends creativity
3. Select the values that resonate most strongly with you, those that are “must-haves” in your beautiful new life. Run your internal video in your mind again, and just check that your values are implicit in your new beautiful life; if does not fit with the values you have identified, you may need to have a rethink, either about your goals or your new life…or both.
4. Identify: Now you have a clear goal in mind, you must make it SMART, that is Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Realistic and Timely. If you want to lose weight, for example, saying “I want to lose weight” is not a goal, it is a wish. A SMART goal is “I will lose 2lbs a week for the next six weeks”. Or “I will reduce my calorie intake from 2000 a day to 1500 a day, and factor at least one hour of exercise every other day for the next month”. Losing 2lbs a week for the next six weeks is specific, measurable, achievable, realistic and timely. Cutting calories from 2000 to 1500 is also specific, measurable, achievable, realistic and timely. “Wanting to lose weight” is not specific, measurable, achievable, realistic or timely.
5. Plan all the activities that you need to undertake to achieve your goal. Give yourself a clear timetable and make sure it is specific, achievable, realistic and timely; you may like to set milestones along the way and give yourself rewards when you reach them. If you are making major changes to your life, you may want to break them down into several goals so that you are not overwhelmed by all the differences. If your goal is SMART your plans will be too.
6. Remind yourself of your goal: good ways of doing this are to tell people around you what you are doing, so that you will be accountable to them; use written reminders in your diary or calendar. If your motivation flags, visualise the world as it will be when you’ve achieved what you want to achieve.
7. Review your success. Once you’ve achieved your goal, think back over all the activities you undertook to achieve it, and congratulate yourself. Keep your success at the front of your mind, because it will help you stay motivated in every new goal you set.
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Choose change
Choosing change is a way of living your life that can help you to be more positive, more dynamic and, eventually, more fulfilled and successful. To take control of change in the most powerful and meaningful way, you will need to set clear, time-bound goals, with realistic action plans.
We can categorise change in a hundred different ways, but there really are only two types: those we want and those that are forced on us. The two types are inextricably linked, because the action of making a change we want always brings with it side effects – other changes – about which we may have no choice.
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Every change is like a pebble dropped into the pool of activity and experience that makes up our lives: it will cause a splash, and then ripples that will emanate outwards for a long time.
Making a dramatic change to our finances, for example, might mean our relationship with our partner has to change too; changing our relationship with our partner may mean we have less time to spend with friends; spending less time with friends might result in more changes in our relationship with our partner… and so on, ad infinitum.
The best changes are those we choose and of those, the most successful and life-enhancing are the changes we want that we express as clearly defined goals with straightforward, time-bound actions plans in place.
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You may have heard the much-quoted urban myth about Harvard MBA graduates who were asked if they had set clear, written goals and made plans to accomplish them. Three percent had written down their goals and created action plans; 13 percent had goals, but had not written them down; and 84 percent had no goals at all. Ten years later, these graduates were interviewed again. The 13 percent who started out with unwritten goals were earning, on average, about twice as much as the 84 percent who had had no goals.
The three percent who had written down their goals and their plans of action to achieve them were earning, on average, 10 times as much as the other 97 percent put together.
It is a great story but Harvard researchers claim to know nothing of this fabulous study — and let’s face it, they would hardly have forgotten it.
So how to prove that it is worth writing down your goals?
Give it a try. Spend a little time today, now, thinking about one thing you would like to achieve during your lifetime. It may be something amazing and huge like climbing Mount Everest or walking the Great Wall of China; it might equally be something fairly simple and straightforward like losing 20lbs.
Write down your goal and, very important, this, the date by which you will achieve it, in a notebook or diary, somewhere you can refer to it regularly.
Over the next few days, think about how you can achieve it. Do not rush this stage; give yourself plenty of time and space to allow both your conscious and your subconscious mind to get to work on it.
As the ideas come to you, jot them down. Gradually, a plan will begin to emerge and, once you really begin to see the possibilities, you will find your motivation rises steadily.
When you have a complete action plan, review your goal and your deadline to see whether it is still viable.
Then start taking action.
You will have taken control of this change in your life and it will feel wonderful!
Choose one or more of these tried and tested boosters and watch your confidence quotient soar!
1. Write yourself a winner’s script
If you go into a challenging situation with a little voice at the back of your mind saying “you KNOW you’re going to mess up; you’re USELESS at this; you ALWAYS get this sort of thing WRONG”, the chances are you will mess up, be useless and get it wrong. You can change this quite simply by writing yourself a winner’s script: it’s worth writing it down once you’ve clarified it for yourself. It might be something like this: “This may be difficult, but I KNOW I CAN COPE. I’ve dealt with this sort of thing before so I KNOW WHAT TO DO. I will be CALM. I will ENJOY turning this into A SUCCESS.” This is a “vanilla” version of a winner’s script, so change it to suit you and your circumstances. The most effective winner’s script is the one you write for yourself. You may need to create a different script for different situations; sometimes you’ll need to repeat it often, other times one or two run-throughs will be enough
2. See yourself successful
This is another version of writing yourself a winner’s script and it works really well for people who prefer to think in pictures, rather than words. Close your eyes and take a few deep breaths to relax, then start putting together a picture of yourself at your most successful. This might be a memory, or it might be a future projection, but either way, you will want to create the most vivid picture possible. Give your picture bright, clear colours; see the expression on your own face; check out your winner’s posture; give your winning self a superb setting; look at the accessories that you associate with winning – this varies so much from person to person, but might include a fabulous office, a big car, a personal assistant…it’s entirely up to you. Once you’ve created your mind picture, give it a caption: again, it’s up to you, but some suggestions are “The Winner!” “Well done me” “My success story” “Portrait of success”….you will come up with your own ideas, and they will be eminently memorable for you personally. Now practice conjuring up this vision: call it up using the caption you’ve given it, then examine the picture in deep detail, paying special attention to yourself, the winner.
3. Analyse a winner
Think of someone you know who always seems confident and self-assured. Think of that person dealing with your situation. How would they speak? How would they stand? What would they wear? What would they expect to happen? How would they prepare? Once you’ve analysed your winner’s methods, steal them! If they speak slowly and clearly, could you do the same? If they stand tall with good posture, could you do that; will you wear something that is comfortable and appropriate, have a positive expectation, be well prepared? Your particular winner may have different methods that better suit the situation you’re looking at, but the idea is the same, whoever you picture.
4. Remember you’re a winner
This is an incredibly powerful way of using your inner resources to help you through any difficulty. Think back to a time when you felt successful and completely confident: this might be in a work situation, or something related to your life outside work; it could be yesterday, last week, last year or two decades ago. The feeling may have lasted two minutes or two years. It doesn’t really matter when or where it was or how long it lasted, what matters is how you felt. Think back to that feeling; concentrate on the way you felt at that time. Spend a few minutes thinking about it, how you felt, how you carried yourself, how you looked, what you said or did while you felt so confident. Why were you so successful and confident? What had you achieved that gave you that feeling? What were you doing? How did other people respond to you? Really see yourself as you were then, when you felt successful and confident. Get a very clear picture in your mind. Now imagine that successful, confident you dealing with whatever is making you feel anxious or doubtful. How does the confident you look? How does the confident you speak? What does the confident you say?
5. Be kind to yourself
Imagine you are able to clone yourself. Picture a you2 standing right in front of you. Now tell that you2 how great you are; praise your you2’s achievements and efforts; tell your you2 you have faith in them; you believe in your you2 and you know they will succeed. Finally, give your you2 a big hug and concentrate on letting him or her know how much you care about them and believe in them. Some people find this works better for them if they picture themselves as a child; others find they respond better to an adult clone – it’s up to you. Give it a try.
6. Write a new CV
This is a very effective way of stocktaking your own skills and achievements and boosting your self-esteem on confidence. If you can share this with a friend, so much the better – you create your friend’s CV, then swap roles. We tend not to blow our own trumpets, so sometimes it’s useful to have another person describe your strengths! Imagine you are creating a CV to give to an employer from another planet: this employer is not only interested in your working skills and experience, he wants to know everything about you. Make five lists: i. work achievements ii. personal achievements iii. natural abilities iv. challenges I’ve met v. my strong points. Remember to include things you might take for granted, like driving, cooking, managing a household, diy, parenting skills… your friend may add achievements to your list you haven’t even considered. If it helps, compare what you were able to do when you were, say, 16, with what you can do now. You’ll be amazed at how long that list is! Look at your whole life in terms of the things you have achieved and how much you do well, and you’ll start to see how many skills and talents you really have – so give yourself a pat on the back and hold your head high.
It’s not barmy, it’s good sense. You may have dozens of negative internal scripts running in your head right now and talking to yourself is a great way of neutralizing them. They’ve been cobbled together by your subconscious and your survival instinct from warnings like “careful,” “don’t fall”, or “mind, that’s hot. Don’t believe it? Try thinking about something you’ve always wanted to do but never got round to: what’s stopping you? Listen hard and you’ll hear that negative script, on a loop, saying something like “what? you? no chance!”
Step one / examine the evidence
Give yourself time to start hearing the negative talk; enlist the help of a pal – you listen for hers, she listens for yours. You’ll be surprised by how many things these negative scripts warn you against and stop you from doing. Write them down in a list.
Step two / now destroy the evidence…
Take each negative script in turn: cross it out – very therapeutic – then write next to it the exact opposite of what it said. So if your internal script said “I’m no runner”, write “I’m a great runner”. At this point you don’t have to believe it, you just have to write it down.
Step three / and start believing
Read your new positive scripts over to yourself and starting with just one, repeat it out loud at least once a day and in your head at least 10 times a day. If you can say it out loud lots of times so much the better. Just keep repeating it and you’ll find you do start to believe it. It works.
For more details on how to banish limiting beliefs
for good, call me on 07986 982 695 or mail
hazel@redbirdcoaching.co.uk
Confidence keynotes
Those negative scripts are part of a whole system of negatives we all have called limiting beliefs: they’re often completely unfounded, based on nothing more than something someone carelessly said to you years ago, perhaps warning you of a potential danger or criticising you to make them feel stronger. They’ve probably never thought about it since then, but your subconscious joined forces with your survival instinct and turned the negative stuff into a self-fulfilling prophecy. You think you’re hopeless at maths, you say it, your internal script repeats it and, surprise, surprise, you go into meltdown if you have to calculate anything more complicated than 1+1! Good to know, then, that you can talk yourself out of these self-fulfilling prophecies, just as your subconscious talked you into them.
Get past the panic
1.
Take three x three deep breaths.
You’re nervous, your breathing is probably faster than normal and shallower than normal. You can calm yourself down in a matter of seconds by doing the three by three:
i Think of a clear blue sky. Concentrate on the vivid blue. No clouds, just a clear beautiful blue. Close your eyes if you can.
ii Take a good deep breath – breathe in through your nose to a count of one-elephant-two-elephant-three-elephant-four-elephant-five, out through your mouth to a count of one-elephant-two-elephant-three-elephant-four-elephant-five. Do this three times.
iii Repeat step two twice more, so you’ve taken nine deep breaths in all, which will take you no longer than two minutes
Notice how much calmer you feel. Take one more deep breath for luck. Lift your chin and smile.
2
Take a time out
If it’s feasible, leave the room, or move away from whatever is making you panic. You can say something simple, like “I need a minute here” or “excuse me, I’d like a breath of air”. If you can’t physically remove yourself, give yourself a mental breather. Say something like “I need to think about this” or “Let’s take this slowly” or “Please don’t rush me”
Just speaking will bring your panic level down a notch; the fact that you’re taking a measure of control will help too.
Once you’ve bought yourself some time, take three deep breaths, then six more if you can. Now you’re ready to face the music.
3
Stretch
If you have room, and it’s appropriate:
i Raise your arms up high over your head, reach up a little higher than you think you can.
ii Step back on one foot then lean forward, feel the stretch down the back of the back leg. Change legs and repeat
ii Put your right arm up, bend at the elbow, then reach as far down your back with your right hand as you can. Push gently with the other hand. Repeat on the other side.
Naturally, you’ll only be able to do these stretches if there’s time and a suitable place. If time’s tight and you can’t find somewhere private, try this:
4
Stand tall
Imagine there is a piece of string attached to the top of your head and someone is pulling on it. Feel your spine elongate, your chin lift and your shoulders drop down. You’ll want to take a breath too, so make it a deep one!
The Golden Room
A perfect place of peace and tranquillity you can visit whenever you like
Visualisation is a truly powerful technique and this guided example is an excellent way of practising it.
When the shark bites, when the bee stings, when you’re feeling sad, simply transport yourself to a beautiful place where everything is exactly as you want it to be.
It’s all in the mind, of course, but this exercise in visualisation is great on two levels: it gets you into the swing of visualisation and, the bonus, it gives you a personal retreat to which you can retire if ever the world becomes just a bit to hard to bear.
There are many variations on this theme – I’ve heard a version that American Indians use, one that’s popular with hypnotherapists, and yet another that was passed on to me by a friend who’d heard it at her church.
This is my own version, and it works fantastically well for me. Give it a try, and if you find you need to add details or change the ambiance, fine – it will work better for you if you have created it for yourself.
Imagine a cube, about 10ftx10ftx10ft. This cube is made up of bright, golden light which gives off a gentle warmth. This cube is the Golden Room.
Give yourself a minute or so to really picture this room: it’s bounded only by light, and everything you place in it is bathed in beautiful clear rays of energy.
Soft as thistledown
My Golden Room contains a sofa with comfortable cushions that are soft as thistledown; there is a lavender aroma; I can occasionally hear windchimes in the distance, and I often hear the shushing sound of the sea lapping against a sandy beach.
You will choose your own details: your Golden Room may contain only clouds or a simple table and chair; there may be no aroma, or it may be the delicious fragrance of an apple pie cooking in the oven in your mum’s kitchen; your Golden Room may have beautiful pictures or sculptures or loads of books…it’s entirely up to you.
Fill your Golden Room with things that bring you pleasure and comfort. Because this Golden Room is entirely yours, you can have fountains of liquid silver or baby deer, tame tigers or gleaming cars – there’s no limit to what you can have, except that whatever you choose must bring you pleasure and comfort.
Your Golden Room may be minimalist or you might go for Art Deco or Goth or something that only you could describe. Great! Enjoy the experience of creating this light-filled space exactly as you want it to be.
This Golden Room, once you’ve described it clearly and fully to yourself, is where you will go when you need to relax, or take time out, or move away from a stressful situation.
Calm and peace
The bright golden light in your Golden Room will fill you with a feeling of calm and peace; your energy reserves will be topped up by it; aches and pains will be relieved by it; tears that you take to the Golden Room evaporate in the gentle warmth of the light, leaving you feeling refreshed and revived. Sadness seeps away in the Golden Room; anger dissipates and tension simply disappears.
Now see yourself in the Golden Room. Notice how relaxed and calm you are. Notice how happy you feel; acknowledge that while you’re there, nothing troubles you. Realise how clearly you are able to think. Feel how much the light refreshes you, re-energises you and gives you a sense of comfort and security.
Once you have a Golden Room of your own, you can go there whenever you need a boost of energy or confidence, or respite from stress. It’s a great place to go when you’re getting ready to sleep, because you’ll relax straight away. It’s also a great place to go when you feel unhappy or sad, or when your temper’s getting the better of you. If you’re feeling nervous a few seconds in the Golden Room can calm you down; the train journey home can be a little piece of heaven if you concentrate on spending your time in the Golden Room.
You can visit as often as you like and stay as long as you like, and you can add or subtract from what’s inside it. The only thing that’s constant is the bright golden light and beyond that, the only limit is your own imagination.
Enjoy!