Tame that stress reaction!
We all experience stress, every day; some of it is “good” stress that helps us to perform well and stay motivated. “Bad” stress elicits a negative reaction from you and leaves you with feelings of dissatisfaction and anxiety. Self-belief and the determination to change the way you respond to what the world throws at you are the keys to taming the negative stress and turning it over to the positive side.
Whatever causes you to feel stressed, believe that YOU have the power to turn it around and respond calmly. There are many ways of reaching the conclusion that, yes, you do have control over your reactions. Believing that you can change is vital. If you believe you have it within your power to change yourself, anything is possible. Limiting beliefs, those often unreasoned and unsound ideas we unconsciously carry around with us, get in the way of your desire to change, so think about what negative internal scripts may be holding you back, and get rid of them.
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Developing, and continuing to develop, your self-awareness, is crucial if you want to change. Start by simply spending 10 or 15 minutes a day thinking back over the last 24 hours: how did you get on? Did you respond calmly to irritating stimuli? Did you over-react or become too passive? Could you have handled situations in a more constructive way? Was there conflict and, if so, how did you respond? Then think about how you will manage similar situations next time round in a much more positive and constructive way.
Make some physical changes as a precursor to the mental and psychological changes that will follow. Start taking at least two 15-minute walks each day, or develop a simple exercise and stretch routine; join a yoga group or take up running. Physically making changes can help to prise you out of the emotional rut you may have been in.
Take heart from this true and inspirational story: Victor Frankl, an Austrian neurologist and psychiatrist, was imprisoned in the death camps of Nazi Germany in 1942. His parents, brother, and his wife died in the camps. Despite the horrors that surrounded him, Frankl, who had always worked on examining the meaning of life, discovered a freedom that could not be taken away. He was a self-aware being; his identity was intact; he could decide for himself how he would react to the things happening around him. In the small space between what happened to him and his response to it was his freedom to choose how he would respond. With this thought, and his continuing examination of the reasons for existence, Frankl found peace and stability, and went on to help fellow prisoners and even prison guards to find meaning in their lives even in the most degrading situations.
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Once you have prepared to change, use these 10 tips to help you cope with whatever stress comes your way:
1 BREATHE! Anxiety can make us take short, shallow breaths which can mean we’re starved of oxygen at the very time we need it most. Take control; take time to breathe deeply
2 SMILE. A smile is the simplest “anchor” of all, so use it. And while you’re at it, set another positive anchor or two: anchor good feelings so that you can revisit them at any time at all.
3 LAUGH. It’s difficult to hold on to tension when you’re laughing. Practise the inward laughter technique. Remember the times when you’ve laughed out loud. Do a fun audit and mentally prepare for your next good time.
4 MEDITATE. You create your own reality in your mind; use meditation to take control of your reality. Twenty minutes’ meditation a day will have long-lasting, far-reaching beneficial effects. Even 10 minutes a day will help you to cope with whatever the world throws at you.
5 USE THE ‘A’ TEAM. Either change the situation by Avoiding /Altering the source of stress or change how you react by Adapting / Accepting the source of stress.
6 AFFIRM AND NEUTRALIZE. Positive self-talk offsets any negatives. Affirmations need to be in the present tense and wholly positive and work best if they’re repeated throughout the day. Neutralizers are your personal stress-blockers, words or brief phrases you repeat out loud or in your head that take the sting out of whatever negatives come at you.
7 BE BODY LANGUAGE POSITIVE. Body language is a two-way channel: your subconscious doesn’t know the difference between the truth and fiction, so if your body language is from the “confident and relaxed” stable, your subconscious will make your psyche align with that concept.
8 SPEND TIME WITH HAPPY PEOPLE. Make a positive effort to spend time with people who are relaxed and happy, to offset whatever stressful environment you have to endure.
9 TAKE THE HELICOPTER VIEW. Ask yourself this question: “In 10 years’ time, will this really matter?” The answer is invariably ‘No’!
10 GET MOVING. If you feel anxious, irritable, angry or frustrated, do some exercise. Stretching’s good if you’re stuck in the office or in a meeting, say, but if you can get outside and go for a walk in the fresh air, so much the better.
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